Do you like you?

Over the past week in my Personal & Social Development Psychology class, we have been learning the extents of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-image. We even watched a movie about this young girl, who was becoming a Super Model for LA Models…at the age of 12.

As a young (human) woman, I can say with complete honesty that I, too, have grown up with self-image and self-esteem issues due to pressure at school, things I saw in magazines, and a distorted self-image. And let me tell you, it’s not fun having a low self-esteem! You legitimately do not like yourself, or the way you look. Now that I’m on my way to being older and more grown, I can’t even fathom how I managed to survive without loving myself. It’s truly a dog-eat-dog world out there…seriously, “cold world no blanket” type of love!

One of the parts of the movie we watched that caught my eye and heart, was when Garren’s mother funded Garren (12 year old, now 15 year old Super Model) to take a trip to Paris, to book new shows and photo shoots. Although she knew the industry pretty well and used to have incredible connections, she had no idea what her self-esteem and self-image was in for.

Garren was a 6 foot tall, thin as ever, beautiful African-American pre-teen. Trust me when I tell you that everything about her was gorgeous. However, the agents in Paris thought otherwise – “We don’t typically book..er..black skin…” said one man. “Oh, you are 96 centimeters around the hip? We need 90 centimeters…we would want you to go on a..how do you say it..diet?” said another woman.

INSTANTLY, I was angered. I get it, the fashion industry has a certain look they go for to create the art they provide us on runways with their high fashion, and in magazines. I GET IT. But to tell a 12 year old girl to diet because you don’t want to pay and sew 6 CENTIMETERS on a few outfits?! The Universe knows how much money this industry pulls on the daily, yet this little girl just got her dreams crushed because she has a SLIGHTLY more curvy hip frame that she stated was “passed down from her mom”. And to what made me even more furious, is the thought of this poor girl putting her health at risk.

What really hurt me was when Garren returned to the states, she became depressed. The beautiful girl who was once filled with confidence and poise and love, didn’t even want to step outside. She called herself ugly, and she even explained how she was going to diet…point blank period. I was so hurt.

This is a message that needs to be spread world wide – ladies, although honest competition is good for the soul, the moment you are in competition with your PERSONALITY or the way you LOOK, you’ve already lost. And this goes for men too. I love working out, I love eating healthy, because it makes me feel good. It did take me a LONG time to get used to the fact that I’m curvy, and not meant to be a skinny girl, but I am okay with that because there’s only ONE ME. I love me.

You guys, please, I really want you to realize and be aware how poorly you speak about yourself. For example, if you had a friend who spoke to you the way you spoke to you, would you still be their friend? Probably not. We want to uplift each other, push each other to greatness, better ourselves!! So why aren’t we doing that for ourselves?! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE IMPORTANT. And do not let anyone take that from you! How dare you take that from yourself. And another thing, do not put your body and health at risk because a certain image you want to portray. Remember, everyone’s lifestyle and body shape is so different. Those girls in the mags don’t even look like the girls in the mags…think about it. 

At the end of the day, what really matters?? A 6-pack? Because as far as I’m concerned, your body decomposes when you die. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for wanting to transform your body…it’s challenging and fun and good for your spirit – but to talk badly about yourself and others along the way isn’t going to get you to your results any quicker. Be kind, please.

I LOVE YOU.

Xo,

cmb

When Exercise Does More Harm than Good

I don’t know if I liked reading this 4 weeks prior to my marathon.. But hey, whatevs

TIME

Americans as a whole don’t exercise enough—at least that’s what the latest studies show—and so the message is clear: get more active, take walks, Let’s Move! Basically anything is better than sitting on the couch. But how much exercise is enough? That’s a hotly debated question for which experts still don’t have a satisfactory answer. But given that most of us are starting from a sedentary position, the assumption has long been the more the better.

But in a report published Monday in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology researchers from Denmark say that people who push their bodies too hard may essentially undo the benefit of exercise. Those who ran at a fast pace more than four hours a week for more than three days a week had about the same risk of dying during the study’s 12-year follow up as those who were sedentary and hardly…

View original post 586 more words

Patience, young Skywalker

Ahh, the good ole materialism, and the bliss it brings us!

Oh, how I wish I was joking.

This past week, I’ve been dealing with the whole “leasing a car” dilemma. And although (based on my spirituality) it shouldn’t be stressing me out, it really has been. Let me tell you, the car I’ve been setting my sights on is a beautiful and luxurious car. It’s been really easy to fall in love with it.

To give you guys a little background, I haven’t had a car in over a year, due to being young, naive, and moving out..so wanting a car has been more apparent than ever before as of late.

Being that I work in a car dealership, the guys I work with want to see me in this car probably more than I do, so the temptation has been real.. TO SAY THE LEAST! My guys worked for two days with our partnered finance company to get me approved. And the waiting game for this process was so crucial on my immature soul! I have a bad habit of getting my hopes high for things like this, to where all my thoughts are consumed with what I wish to happen (yes, all for a new car). I would go running and all I could think about is driving that beauty. I wouldn’t even be focusing on my run, nor would I be in the moment, and it even resulted in me slightly straining a connective muscle from my knee to my hip.

I didn’t realize at the time that I was so caught up in a possession, that I was risking my mental and physical health.

Well, after long hours at the dealership, I was approved for the car and I was so ecstatic. Yeah, I would be car-broke for a while…along with a 3-year commitment to something that doesn’t even have a heart or a brain.

So…I didn’t sign the agreement. Needless to say the insurance quotes I was given were sky high as well, so that made my decision way easier, yet I was still bummed to say the least. I was hurt because I had been building up so much love and energy for this vehicle, and for the moment of driving it off the lot with a huge smile on my face. I got my hopes up, and I was for sure let down.

However, I learned a HUGE lesson through all this..and gained a new philosophy. I learned to (as I have actually learned before) to keep my expectations at a strong 0, and let the cards fall as they may, especially when it comes to materialistic things (I mean, getting upset over not getting a car, really?! How shallow can I get?). IT CAN ALWAYS BE MUCH WORSE!!! Also, I had a great support system behind me to keep my spirits up and I am forever grateful for that. Things come and go, and I am very proud of myself for being brave enough to jump on that opportunity – I believe a better one will come my way anyway (my best friend reminded me of this).

The philosophy I came up with throughout this process was that, living in this human existence, we are meant to love and play, and not take things seriously. Sincerely, yes – we always want to be real and truthful – but lighthearted nonetheless. I was reminded of my spirituality and my soul because of this event, and I am just so thankful for everything I DO have in my life..and I am still in love with the life I live.

Thank you

Love you all

Xo,

-cmb