One for my feelings, I guess…

I know they’re here, I just suppose I do a great job at hiding them – but that hasn’t gotten be very far.

If I need to change anything before a reinvention for a new year, it has to be to balance myself (ultimately) between feeling & intellect. I just get so stuck…I have a belief. And this belief that in order to progress, one must be positive, for we are eternal positive beings. And with this belief, I get so wrapped up in trying to decipher whether my words or intentions are positive or negative…

I guess you can say I get stumbled on this (although I should always instinctively know) because I have a hard time accepting the fact that feelings, too, help progress…

I’ve gotten my heart broken, a total of two times. Of course both heartbreaks didn’t give me the SAME feeling, they gave me similar mental processes and feelings, so I subconsciously tried to take my feelings away – they seem to just get me in trouble.

Growing up, I was real sensitive and emotional. Of course, I would get talked down on or picked on because of my ways, so naturally, I got rid of my feelings. Sometimes nowadays, I feel I don’t even know myself cause I catch myself truly not caring.

I think today I am coming to the realization that PRETENDING to NOT HAVE FEELINGS will indubitably worsen my troubles.

I would love to work on balancing my feelings and intellect as my New Year’s Resolution…feeling how I feel, accepting how I feel, and if it ends up being negative: CHANGE IT. DO MORE, SAY LESS.

2015 is ours, hand in hand we need to stand to rise above negativity we pull into our souls, and allow to darken our days.. I have so much faith in our humanity, despite the horrors happening currently. So long we try our best to quiet the outside noise, and continue to LOVE, we can rise above anything. And first, I must heal myself before I begin working on the next human..I got you, nonetheless.

Love you all


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