Outlet pt. II

I am pretty positive I saved my life last night. I have no more patience for allowing unnecessary funky attitudes – I’m losing days and opportunities by allowing myself to have negative vibrations.

I don’t know what got into me, but this New Year is hitting me harder than any New Year before. 2014 for sure has a special place in my heart… I’ve learned, and I’ve learned to UNDERSTAND in 2014. Every ounce in my body, cellular to molecular, believes that there is more to life and the worry, lack of confidence, routine ways. And I am ready to fight for that belief with my mind, my physical, and my soul.

It will be a year of daily positive affirmations, and more DOING, LESS talking. Excuses do not exist, nothing exists but strength, love and truth. And it’s already begun.

Xo,

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Outlet

One for my feelings, I guess…

I know they’re here, I just suppose I do a great job at hiding them – but that hasn’t gotten be very far.

If I need to change anything before a reinvention for a new year, it has to be to balance myself (ultimately) between feeling & intellect. I just get so stuck…I have a belief. And this belief that in order to progress, one must be positive, for we are eternal positive beings. And with this belief, I get so wrapped up in trying to decipher whether my words or intentions are positive or negative…

I guess you can say I get stumbled on this (although I should always instinctively know) because I have a hard time accepting the fact that feelings, too, help progress…

I’ve gotten my heart broken, a total of two times. Of course both heartbreaks didn’t give me the SAME feeling, they gave me similar mental processes and feelings, so I subconsciously tried to take my feelings away – they seem to just get me in trouble.

Growing up, I was real sensitive and emotional. Of course, I would get talked down on or picked on because of my ways, so naturally, I got rid of my feelings. Sometimes nowadays, I feel I don’t even know myself cause I catch myself truly not caring.

I think today I am coming to the realization that PRETENDING to NOT HAVE FEELINGS will indubitably worsen my troubles.

I would love to work on balancing my feelings and intellect as my New Year’s Resolution…feeling how I feel, accepting how I feel, and if it ends up being negative: CHANGE IT. DO MORE, SAY LESS.

2015 is ours, hand in hand we need to stand to rise above negativity we pull into our souls, and allow to darken our days.. I have so much faith in our humanity, despite the horrors happening currently. So long we try our best to quiet the outside noise, and continue to LOVE, we can rise above anything. And first, I must heal myself before I begin working on the next human..I got you, nonetheless.

Love you all

Ldkjshfsdjfhjdslfhbfsogf…

Beautiful energy is surging through my veins and bouncing off every physical object in this room right now!! I couldn’t help but share it with every one of you who reads/doesn’t read this post!!

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So, the holidays are among us..and at the beginning of the season, I wasn’t too sure how I felt about this.. my beliefs of God, Jesus, the bible, religion as a whole, has changed drastically in the past year. And when I say my beliefs have done a 180 degree turn, please don’t take this as Atheism in any shape or form. One day I’ll come back and explain my type of spirituality, in hopes of linking with like minded beautiful human beings! One love…

Anyway, the holidays!! I am excited nonetheless. I am excited to be with my family, to regroup and count the blessings each of us have had this past year, and simply vibe. The one thing I cannot deny about this time of year is the genuine energy that gets fed from one another..and the love we give and receive from opening our hearts in this time of generosity & becoming humble. I respect the concept of Christmas, and the morals it holds, no matter the religion/spirituality one might believe in or live by. 🙂

Another thing, I am beginning to believe this time of year is a time of ultimate understanding.. Though we should hold an open mind and try to understand every single day, we need to really start understanding things when the year winds down and we become a little more grateful than usual..for this is when we are more vulnerable. | Of course I have hopes of us as a whole, that we will carry this vulnerability throughout each day of the years to come.. | We need to understand the way things and people work, and understand how blessed we are and how much of a blessing we are in return. One important thing (I believe) we need to understand is that everyone has a story.. Everyone has a background, a past, no matter how dark.. and we need to understand that love is the true way to understand the next person..unconditional, understanding, open love. Whether it be your enemy, your spouse, or the homeless man on the sidewalk with no shelter during this cold time. UNDERSTAND, we are all brothers and sisters in this mysterious, breathtaking universe… And you never know what depth of someone’s soul you will lighten by being the loving you that you are!!

Have a happy holidays my loves, let your soul be recognized..

Xo

Said I wasn’t gonna blog til after the holidays, but I couldn’t resist. So here’s a little something I wanted to comment on from Socrates.

“When I had failed in the contemplation of true existence, I felt I ought to be careful not to lose the eye of my soul.” -Socrates

 

By “the eye of the soul”, I want to believe that Socrates is speaking on being aware of the current moment, and being genuinely happy in it (happiness – is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy). And by being truly happy in the moment, awareness of your consciousness must be in full effect. One must be self-aware of his existence, where he is, and just happy to be alive as a human; breathing, smiling, seeing, feeling, etc. I personally can conclude that by being human, one can lose sight of existence by being worrisome of past events, and future events that haven’t occurred yet. In Socrates’ defense, I feel I can safely assume he was questioning what it TRULY MEANS to exist – with questions derived as such: “Am I really here?” “Am I dreaming?” “Am I really dead or alive?” “Is this an illusion?” (I came up with these questions assumingly, simply because they have been the same questions that have floated around in my head) – And that’s okay. We are MEANT to question, just as much as we are MEANT to believe. I truly believe we are here to do whatever it is we want to do, and in full-force, let’s just make it positive.  So, I have respect for Socrates. The reason for my respect, is because he can question true existence and accept when he is confused with this understanding  – yet he kept his mind, heart, and ‘eye’ open to what (I believe) makes him exist right here, right now…and that is his SOUL. Bravo, Socrates.