Pressing words..

So, part of my self disciplinary promises to myself today is to write a blog..and all morning I’ve had this nagging sensation of “WHAT am I going to write about?!”

I want to write about pride, I want to write about ego, I want to write about fear..& the list goes on. But what’s hurting me, is that I have NO clue as to where I should begin – well, obviously I started now – but you get the point.

So then I made a decision, to take it to a personal level; I feel I cannot rant about fear, courage, pride, etc. without taking you guys on trip inside MY mind. I am going to quote, copy & paste something I rambled about a few months back.. on one of those days where I had to just write..write every track of thought that was whirling around in my crazy mind. And the reason I chose to do this is because I had sort of the same emotion going on that day as I do today. I hope you guys enjoy – and please take something positive from it.

“I really don’t know where to start; I am so jumbled up at the moment. I have feelings of anxiety, hurt, sadness, false happiness, hope, faith, oh man I can go on and on. And I feel like writing this is going to be the absolute only way I can vent as my true self and release whatever it is I need to release. I can have this be a free write to clear this cloudy brain of mine. And yet I still don’t know where to start. I guess I can start off with preaching like every other human on this planet about how I want more money, clothes, cars, etc. but for some reason, there’s no fulfillment in that..I’m yearning for something more. Genuine happiness. I’m on a pursuit and I don’t want to stop when I get there. Yet, I am confused. I am so confused on my true beliefs, what’s wrong from right, what’s true and false, what to trust and what not to trust…sometimes I just don’t know. And because of that, I (I hate to use this word) suffer. And not in any dramatic means, because I always tend to make ends meet, but inside – there’s always a battle. There’s always this little voice telling me that I am unworthy, I am irresponsible, and that I lack compassion. And on top of all that, I’m selfish. So where do I go from there? How do I reverse these curses? How do I go from icy cold to warm and loving? Now I’m stuck. I got stuck without words, because I don’t even know how all of these traits came about…was I born with them? Are they truly me? Was I emotionally attacked when I was younger? But there has been so much worse done to other people on this planet to where I know I need to be so undoubtedly GRATEFUL for my childhood and past. I need to keep reminding myself of all the good things. Another thing I need to remind myself is the faults and mistakes I made in the past that hurts my future, to keep me from doing it again – I tend to make mistakes like a fulltime job. And now I feel like I am throwing a pity party HA HA. I don’t know everything. I don’t know ANYTHING for that matter…and I wish for more wisdom. I wish for patience and learn to keep my mouth closed and heart open.  I wish for the gift of true compassion and to look way further than materials and outer looks – what do those matter anyway? Of course I want to keep myself up and tidy, for more personal reasons, but I have to come to a realization that they don’t mean everything……or anything for that matter. It’s all for fun. I wish to keep my eyes open, all three, and to TRULY realize everyone has their own universe and problems going on – regardless of how I feel about problems, not everyone (maybe even anyone) has the same beliefs as me so I cannot force them on these people. Instead I must love them and their worlds in order to be at peace. I have to learn to ask more questions, let people share with me their opinions and beliefs to get to know them more, and to broaden my perspectives…even if it’s just about where their favorite pizza spot is. I must learn to empower my brothers’ and sisters’ positive strengths and attributes, as opposed to shunning them due to their weaknesses. We’re all strong, with weak spots. And that’s okay. I must accept this – and accept it firmly. I must live with truth, no matter how ugly it is. Even if it’s hard turning it pretty, hard work and working out of my stupid little comfort zone will help me too, I believe. And in life, I should stop using “I” so much – life isn’t about me. It’s about we. It’s about us. We thrive on love. I wish for love, have high hopes for love, and we should all believe in love. No more selfishness. I love you.”

Xo,

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“love yourself”

loving ones self has become a huge epidemic within the past decade or so..so much that I’m beginning to see it more as a fad than true love. so I asked myself, what is love?

In my opinion, love is.. felt. Love is adoration, appreciation, upkeep, truth, patience, affection & most of all unconditional.

I see men and women all over the place “loving” themselves – yet they exploit, spoil, and thrive on attention and it just boggles my mind on how one can love their self via outer suffices and material things…& drives me up the wall when I hear these same people speak so lowly about themselves!

I feel this “love yourself” is all a fad. We humans feel a need to PROVE that we love ourself by SAYING we do, or BUYING nice things to SHOW we do.
Now, don’t get me wrong – I am a lover of high value, comfort, and high maintenance items..shoot we DESERVE the best. Yet this is all wrong when it comes to loving your SELF.
We have got to stop this together.

Spend some alone time with yourself.. write, sing, read..track where the majority of your thoughts go (they’re there for a reason). And the magnificent part about that, you can change any negative thoughts into positive..and fall in love with your train of thoughts. Start following your own path and watch you fall in love with your SELF. See how you feel when you become more adventurous in your own company. And behold, you will be in love with everyone you surround yourself with as well. When you are the root of good energy & love, you will magnetize those exact feelings around you. Find beauty in the not-so-common, and find peace in the chaos – how are you NOT to love?

First time for everything!

Wow, finally the day came where I got myself a blog – where I can stop worrying about fitting my rants & feelings into a space that only allows 130 characters! I’m pretty excited.

I’m excited to finally break out of my shell and show the world what I’ve got – but more importantly, inspire my fellow earthlings to look inside themselves and show themSELVES what they’ve got. I would love this blog to inspire, and it to be just as open to receiving inspiration as well.

My goal for now, as for my future, is to inspire other souls experiencing this science and theory-filled human existence to love, and to live deeper and beyond the ego and pride; to fall in love with their inner-most, truest self, and find ultimate happiness without being bothered by outside noise and materialism – yet know that they deserve the world. I want to teach compassion and self-centering, being kind yet firm in your own beliefs. I am showing others how to open their minds while problem solving, as well as dealing with inner conflicts. I am bound to enlighten my fellow souls and show them that you can achieve anything you’ve ever dreamed of.

Xo,

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